HOW TO TRICK YOUR BRAIN TO HOLD ON TO POSITIVE HABIT CHANGES

YOU START STRONG, WITH GREAT INTENTIONS, BUT SOON THAT NEW HABIT FALLS TO THE WAYSIDE. HERE'S HOW TO CEMENT IT INTO YOUR DAILY LIFE.

BY JANE PORTER

We truly are creatures of habit.

Nearly half of our everyday behaviors tend to be repeated in the same location almost every day, according to research out of Duke University. That means most of the time we are running on autopilot.

This is a good thing. "Without habits, people would be doomed to plan, consciously guide, and monitor every action, from making that first cup of coffee in the morning to sequencing the finger movements in a Chopin piano concerto," the researchers David Neal, Wendy Wood, and Jeffrey Quinn write.

So what of the new habits we're working hard to form--the ones that seem to suddenly veer off course?

It's a familiar story: You're chugging along with a new routine proud-as-can-be of your newfound diligence. Then something happens. You have one too many margaritas at happy hour. It rains. You get a migraine. There's a giant unmanned cookie platter in the kitchen at work. You name it. A good habit--even one we've been sticking with for a few solid weeks--often seems to derail itself at the slightest slip-up and that's it--you've fallen from the train and it's speeding off without you.

Why does it happen? Did you not stay at it long enough? The notion that a habit takes 21 days to form if you stick to it every day is a myth, says psychologist Jeremy Dean in his book Making Habits, Breaking Habits.

On average, a habit takes more like 66 days to form, with more intensive habits like doing 50 sit-ups every morning taking around 84 days to form, according to research out of University College of London that Dean references in his book. But these figures will often vary greatly from person to person.

Forming habits that stick isn't about finding a magic number. It's about being aware of your behaviors and environment and their effects on your brain. Here are some steps to get started:

CREATE CUES SO YOUR BRAIN CAN RUN ON AUTOPILOT.

Building a habit essentially means training your brain to do the same thing over and over without having to pause and think about it. That only comes from repetition and cueing up whatever sequence of actions has to happen for that habit to take place. If you want to run every day, you don't tell yourself you'll run when you have free time each day because you know you'll always find something else to do.

Instead, you create cues. You run every day at the same time. You set your shoes in front of the door to signal to your brain that you need to put them on. You drink a glass of water right when you wake up. You do the same set of stretches. Whatever you need to do to tell your brain "it's time to run," you do that same sequence of events each day in the same order.

According to habit research, neural evidence shows that sequences of responses get chunked in the memory with repetition. A habit doesn't just stand alone in your brain. It's woven in with a whole network of actions. And done enough, those actions start to happen on autopilot.

AVOID YOUR BAD HABIT TRIGGERS.

Building new positive habits into your brain also means breaking old bad ones. This means dissecting your bad behaviors to better understand what triggers them and eliminating or avoiding those triggers. “If you regularly eat chips while sitting on the couch, after a while, seeing the couch will automatically prompt you to reach for the Doritos," says Wood in this New York Times story. "These associations are sometimes so strong that you have to replace the couch with a wooden chair for a diet to succeed.”

But that doesn't mean you have to redecorate your house in Spartan furniture. It means understanding what triggers certain behaviors and actively avoiding those triggers. "When a habit emerges, the brain stops fully participating in decision-making. It stops working so hard, or diverts focus to other tasks," writes Charles Duhigg in his book The Power of Habit. "Unless you deliberately fight a habit--unless you find new routines--the pattern will unfold automatically."

SET A REWARD AND KEEP IT IN MIND.

Research out of MIT has shown that the basal ganglia, the brain region linked to our performance of habits, is most active at the beginning of a behavior, when the habit is cued, and at the end, when it's rewarded. The study looked at rats running through a maze to get a piece of chocolate. For these rats, the basal ganglia was most active at the start and end of the task, but once the chocolate was removed, the rats lost interest and no longer followed sound cues that helped them reach the end of the maze. When the chocolate reward was put back, the rats resumed their positive learned pattern of running through the maze.

The study is just one of many illustrating how important triggers and rewards are to forming and maintaining habits. Having a clear reward at the end of a task is critical in helping to form and solidify it as a habit. It could be a smoothie at the end of a run or a beautiful view at the end of a bike ride--whatever your reward, it has to be more than just the activity itself to get you going.

3 Psychology Experiments That Might Surprise You

Research That Challenges What You Believe About Yourself and Human Behavior

By Kendra Cherry

 - Psychology Expert

What is it that makes people do the things they do? Artists, writers, poets, philosophers, scientists, and psychologists have explored this basic question for thousands of years, but so much about the human mind and behavior remains a mystery.

Yet numerous psychology experiments have revealed some remarkable insights into our thoughts and actions, from understanding the very nature of evil to the bad decisions we sometimes make. In fact, many of these findings might shock you and challenge what you think you know about yourself.
Here are just a few of the surprising findings from psychology studies that might really surprise you.

1. You Probably Aren't As Aware of Your Choices as You Like to Think You Are
When you head to the polls to vote, you cast your ballot based on careful deliberation of the issues and consideration for how the candidate's views reflect your own beliefs and values, right? While this is what we all like to believe, the research actually suggests that you are not as aware of the choices you make as you probably think you are - a phenomenon that experts refer to as choice blindness.

How exactly does this work? In one study, researchers asked participants to look at images of different women and then pick the one they found the most attractive. The researchers then showed the participants a picture of the woman they had supposedly selected. In reality, the image was a previously unseen picture of a different woman entirely. The participants in the study were then asked to explain why they had chosen this particular picture and why they found the woman attractive.

If people were aware of the choices that they make, it would stand to reason that most people would immediately notice this deception. Yet the researchers discovered that only about 13 percent of the participants noticed the switch. Perhaps more surprisingly, however, was that many participants then went on to confabulate reasons why they had chosen the image and why they found the woman attractive. Some even claimed that they preferred blondes, even though the picture they had actually rated as more attractive originally depicted a brunette.

So what does this have to say about the choices we make? Researchers have found that this choice blindness doesn't just apply to visual stimuli - it also extends to other senses such as taste and smell. It also affects the choices we make that are supposedly based upon deeply help beliefs - our political attitudes. A 2013 study found that researchers could manipulate participant answers to questions about various political issues and participants would not only fail to notice that their answers had been changed, but that they would actually go on to defend and justify these "choices" even though they were not the responses they had given in the first place.

The bottom line: People are less aware of their preferences than they think they are.

2. Visualizing Your Success Might Actually Lead to Failure
Pick up any self-help book and one of the tips you'll likely find is to visualize your success if you want to achieve your goals. It turns out that this advice is actually counterproductive. A 2011 study that appeared in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that visualizing success is not just ineffective - it actually increases your chances of failure.

The researchers found that engaging in positive fantasies, or imagining a desired future, resulted in less energy than negative or neutral fantasies. The results, the authors of the study suggest, indicate that engaging in this positive visualization actually decreases the amount of energy people have to pursue the desired goal.

So what really works to motivate people to achieve their goals? Experts suggest that expectations work better than fantasies. In one study, researchers looked at how people respond to life challenges including finding a partner, getting a job, taking an exam, and undergoing surgery. For each of these conditions, the researchers also measured how much these participants fantasized about positive outcomes and how much they actually expected a positive outcome.

What's the difference really between fantasy and expectation? While fantasy involves imagining an idealized future, expectation is actually based on a person's past experiences.

So what did the researchers find? The results revealed that those who had engaged in fantasizing about a desired future did worse in all four conditions. Those who had more positive expectations for success did better in the following weeks, months, and years. These individuals were more likely to have found a partner, found a job, passed their exams, and successfully recovered from their surgery.

The bottom line: Positive expectations trump fantasizing about a desired future.

3. People Are Willing to Go to Great (Sometimes Deadly) Lengths to Obey Authority
If an authority figure, say your parents or your boss, told you to do something that you knew was wrong, immoral, or even illegal, would you do it? While most people will answer such a question with a resounding "No," one of psychology's most famous (and obviously controversial) experiments suggests otherwise.

In a series of experiments conducted during the 1960s, psychologist Stanley Milgram found that an astonishing 65 percent of participants were willing to deliver what they believed were painful or even fatal electrical shocks to another human being simply because an authority figure ordered them to do so. In reality, the victim was in on the experiment and was simply pretending to be suffering from electrical shocks, but the participants in Milgram's studies fully believed that the shocks were real.

Milgram's research has been criticized for a number of reasons, including ethical issues and concerns over his experimental procedures, yet other researchers have been able to replicate Milgram's findings in a variety of situations. These further replications have consistently found that around 65 percent of people will follow orders, even if it means hurting another human being.

But could these results from the lab really translate to situations in the real-world? Consider the atrocities of World War II. Many who committed horrific acts later suggested that they were simply following orders and doing what they were told to do. More recent examples include the abuse of prisoners by military personnel at Abu Ghraib or incidents of college hazing where students were injured during fraternity pledges.

The bottom line: People tend to be more obedient than they think – and that obedience to authority can sometimes be dangerous.

Two ways to right: The perils of naive realism

Posted by Amie

Monday, March 19, 2012

Last weekend my husband and I got into a fight over a pillowcase. It was one of those times where it was clearly his fault, and I was sure he would apologize the next day. He didn't. Instead he seemed surprised that I wasn't apologizing to him. How could we have such different views of the same conflict? Which one of us was right?

It turns out that we were both right, in our own way. Misunderstandings like the one that led to a fight over a pillowcase occur because people tend to be naïve realists . That is, we believe that we see social interactions as they truly are, and that other people see them the same way that we do. However, one of the most enduring contributions of social psychology is the understanding that two people can interpret the same social interaction in very different ways based on their own personal knowledge and experiences (Asch, 1952). What does this mean for me? I thought my husband had taken my pillowcase as a joke. He knew he had done it on accident. These different pieces of knowledge led us to interpret the same conversation in very different ways.

Our misunderstanding over the pillowcase is not a lone example. In close relationships there will inevitably times when our personal experiences lead us to interpret interactions differently than our partners. These different interpretations may be due to chronic differences such as differences in culture or how we were raised. For example, you and your partner may disagree about whether or not to be affectionate in public because one of you was raised by affectionate parents and the other's parents looked down on public affection. Different interpretations may also be due to something in the moment, such as getting upset with your partner for being late, not knowing that their boss stopped them on their way out of the office.

So what does psychological research suggest you do the next time your partner shows up late for an event or  doesn’t want to come to a dinner with your friends that is so obviously important to you? 

Refrain from making a snap judgment. You weren't misled when you were taught that first impressions matter. People tend to anchor onto their initial impressions of a situation and have a hard time forming a new impression, even in light of disconfirming information. When you first realize you and your partner have differing opinions, tell yourself that you are going to wait until you have all the facts before you interpret the situation.

Look for disconfirming information. We tend to look for facts that confirm our beliefs . If you are frustrated that your partner was supposed to be home 10 minutes ago, the automatic response is to think about all the other times your partner was late, and envision her chatting with friends and ignoring the time. Instead, force yourself to think about any times when your partner was late due to circumstances out of her control and search for reasons that could help explain why your partner wasn’t able to get home when she said she would.

Put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Think about how you might feel if you were in your partner’s situation. What reasons might lead you to, say show up later than you said? Or, for example, what might make you not want to attend a dinner party with your partner's friends? Its also important to think about what experiences your partner might have had that would lead him to interpret a situation differently than you (Todd et al., 2011 ). Has your partner been uncomfortable and anxious in other social situations that might explain why he doesn’t want to attend your friends’ dinner? Does he have some big project coming up at work that is stressing him out?

Don’t try to figure out who’s right. Instead of approaching disagreements with your partner as a chance to convince her you are right and she is wrong, think of it as a puzzle in which the two of you have to work together to figure out the source of your misunderstanding.

Ask your partner what he or she is thinking. Often we are so focused on making sure our partners understand our point of view, we forget to ask them why they feel the way they do. You may be so intent on making sure you partner understands how important your friends’ dinner is to you, that you forget to ask him why he doesn’t want to attend. Your partner, being a naïve realist, is also likely to think its obvious that he is too stressed out about work to be good company for you and won’t think to volunteer that information. Instead your partner will get more and more frustrated at you for bugging him about the event.

Although I’ve described the consequences of naïve realism in terms of interactions with a romantic partner, these same principles apply to interactions with anyone. If your boss seems to be really pushing you to get a project done, it may be that he is a jerk, but it may also be that he doesn’t realize how many other projects you have to finish this month, or he is being pressured by his own boss to get the job done. When you interact with someone, whether they are a new friend or a long-time partner, research suggests that taking a moment to consider that they may be approaching the interaction with a different point of view can only lead to smoother interactions.

Have you ever used one of these suggestions when you were in conflict with someone close to you? Did it work?

Further Reading  

Ross, L., & Ward, A. (1996). Naive realism in everyday life: Implications for social conflict and misunderstanding. Values and knowledge, 103–135.
Robinson, R., Keltner, D., Ward, A., & Ross, L. (1995). Actual versus assumed differences in construal: "Naive realism" in intergroup perception and conflict. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 68 (3), 404-417 DOI: 10.1037//0022-3514.68.3.404 

Todd, A., Hanko, K., Galinsky, A., & Mussweiler, T. (2010). When Focusing on Differences Leads to Similar Perspectives Psychological Science, 22 (1), 134-141 DOI: 10.1177/0956797610392929 

Cuidado con lo que dices: cómo nos formamos opiniones sobre los demás

¿Cuánto tiempo se tarda en causar una buena primera impresión? Psicólogos de las universidades de Glasgow (Escocia) y Princeton (EEUU) han demostrado que un simple ‘hola’ es suficiente para sacar conclusionessobre el tipo de personalidad de la persona que habla.

Para los autores, lo más sorprendente es que estos juicios se pueden elaborar incluso sin ver a la persona que está hablando. Para llevar a cabo el estudio,se realizó un experimento online en el que participaron 320 voluntarios.

Los participantes escucharon una serie de grabaciones de 64 hablantes escoceses diciendo ‘hola’ y después las valoraron. Se les pedía que clasificaran las grabaciones de acuerdo con diez rasgos de personalidad como el grado de confianza, dominación, atractivo, honradez y calidez. Algunos de los ejemplos pueden escucharse en la página web del Laboratorio de Neurocognición de la Universidad de Glasgow.

El tono de voz que se utiliza para saludar contribuye inmediatamente a formar la primera impresiónEl trabajo revela que las mismas grabaciones suscitaban impresiones similares en la mayoría de los participantes y que estas opiniones se formaban rápidamente después de escuchar las voces  –aunque solamente fuera entre 300 y 500 milisegundos–.

“Es increíble que a partir de este tipo de exposiciones cortas del discurso se pueda obtener una impresión tan clara de una persona. Y más aún que su impresión sea la misma que la que otros oyentes reciben”, explica Phil McAleer, director de este estudio.

Los resultados, publicados en la revista Plos One, sugieren que el tono de voz que se utiliza para saludar contribuye inmediatamente a formar la primera impresión de la persona  con la que se está hablando.

Además, los investigadores determinan que los rasgos de personalidad más importantes son la honradez y la dominación. “Tal vez se deba a que estamos más en sintonía con el reconocimiento de estos signos, dos rasgos que han sido centrales para nuestra supervivencia”, añade McAleer.

Confianza y firmeza, lo más importante

Así, los hombres que elevan el tono (altura del sonido) y las mujeres que lo alternan son vistos como personas dignas de confianza. Por otra parte, el dominio se indica por la reducción de tono, pero más aún por los cambios de dispersión de formantes, que son los ajustes de la voz causados por la estructura de la garganta.

Estos resultados tienen infinitas aplicaciones en campos tan diversos como los negocios, la informática, la ingeniería y la publicidadSegún los expertos, el hecho de que la mente humana sea capaz de llegar a estas conclusiones –de forma rápida y con independencia de referencias visuales– implica que se trata de una habilidad que puede haber evolucionado en nuestra historia reciente, cuando las decisiones sobre en quién confiar fueron cruciales para la supervivencia de la especie.

Estos resultados proporcionan una base empírica para predecir las impresiones de la personalidad de los análisis acústicos en los enunciados cortos y para generar impresiones de personalidad deseados en voces humanas y artificiales. Esto tiene, tal y como concluyen los autores, infinitas aplicaciones en campos tan diversos como los negocios, la informática, la ingeniería y la publicidad, y permitirá entender cómo estamos influenciados por las señales emitidas por otras personas.

Fuente: Diario El Confidencial

Observar como práctica cotidiana

Por Dr. Carlos Gómez Flores

Domingo, 16 Marzo 2014

Cuando simplemente vivimos para tomar aire, agua y reproducirnos, lo mejor de la existencia se pierde. Creemos falsamente que somos el centro del universo y pasan desapercibidos muchos sonidos, olores e imágenes de las cosas inanimadas y de los seres de la comunidad terrestre que están a nuestros lados y que ignoramos.

En la vida diaria solemos agazaparnos sobre la misma rutina repitiendo esquemas, repitiendo hábitos y quehaceres de manera automática sin detenernos para reflexionar sobre la dimensión de nuestros actos, sobre la calidad de nuestra actuación como ciudadanos planetarios, y sobre nuestro compromiso por los demás hasta que llega nuestro encuentro con la muerte, o como diría la maestra Milena Koprivitza: ¡Cuando llega nuestra marcha!

De la misma manera en que ignoramos nuestro entorno y nos pasó desapercibida la belleza del todo, nadie nota nuestra partida, sólo aquellos con los que hemos convivido familiarmente se dan cuenta que hemos muerto. Los vecinos no se percatan de nuestra ausencia porque tampoco, nunca nos importaron ellos. No nos dimos permiso de saber quiénes eran los habitantes de las casas de junto.

El reloj que obtuvimos por los años de servicio en el trabajo, los documentos que atestiguaron nuestro paso por las instituciones escolares, nuestras queridas fotografías familiares, nuestra ropa y pertenencias -salvo las que tengan un valor material-, se van a la basura. Cuántas veces he visto en negocios que venden antigüedades, fotografías de personas que fueron señeras y que el comprador las desecha porque lo que les importa sólo es el marco. He visto títulos profesionales de hombres y mujeres que alguna vez los ostentaron y que por lo visto no hubo descendientes a quienes les interesara quedárselos.

Sin embargo, si observamos lo que nos rodea y tenemos consciencia de que somos parte de un todo, podemos conectarnos con los otros seres independientemente de si vivimos en la tundra, en el desierto o en la selva.

Observemos como una práctica íntima y colectiva el firmamento, la obra material del género humano, la grandeza de sus expresiones artísticas, el caminar de las hormigas arrieras que no paran de bregar, el vuelo de las aves y hasta las reacciones de los animales domésticos ante nuestro comportamiento.

No importa que no quede un registro para la historia de nuestro caminar por la vida y que seamos parte de la estadística humana sólo mientras producimos, basta que en el momento adecuado sepamos que nuestras raíces están vinculadas con muchas otras vidas, para ser eternos.

¿Qué hacer para empezar a observar? Veamos qué es lo que existe afuera de nuestra casa, traspasemos sus límites y caminemos por las calles alegrándonos de notar los distintos colores de las fachadas de las casas y de ver a otras personas que también caminan como nosotros. Tal vez tengamos suerte y hasta podamos saludarlos con un, ¡buenos días!, un ¡buenas tardes! o un ¡buenas noches!

Si hay montañas en el lugar en el que vivimos, llevemos nuestra vista hacia sus laderas y cumbres. Si hay sólo llanos, observemos la armonía de los planos horizontales. Si hay ríos o espejos de agua, observemos la vida que allí se genera.

Echemos un vistazo a nuestra genealogía y veamos con detenimiento de dónde procedemos por línea paterna y materna por lo menos desde nuestros tatarabuelos. Qué características físicas han tenido nuestros ancestros y cuáles de éstas tenemos. ¿Qué capacidades y talentos desarrollaron? ¿Qué enfermedades padecieron? ¿Cuáles fueron sus logros? ¿Qué dilemas tuvieron y enfrentaron? ¿A quiénes de nuestros antepasados quisiéramos emular?

Observémonos con detenimiento. ¿Qué le ocurre a nuestro cuerpo en los diferentes meses del año? Disfrutemos de la sensación del sudor cuando el verano, y de los pies y manos frías en la temporada invernal. Si nos es posible, recorramos un buen tramo de tierra con los pies descalzos. Atrevámonos a abrazar un árbol y conectémonos con su masa forestal. Escuchemos nuestro ritmo cardíaco y midamos nuestro pulso para felicitarnos por tener un organismo tan perfecto.

Pongamos atención a los demás y escuchémosles como si no los volviéramos a ver nunca más. Tengamos compasión por los más vulnerables. Que ninguno de ellos nos resulte invisible. ¡Observémonos y observemos los que nos rodea cotidianamente! Nuestra conexión vital es con todo y con todos. Que al momento de nuestra marcha vayámonos plenos, con el deseo de volver, aunque esto resulte un imaginario para el bien morir.

9 cosas que las mujeres quieren de un hombre

Cada mujer es diferente y admira cosas distintas en una potencial pareja, pero a veces hay algunas cosas que no varían como los valores y sentimientos.

Que tenga sentido del humor

Tampoco tiene que ser el rey de la comedia, pero un hombre debe ser capaz de verle el lado gracioso a la vida. Ser capaz de bromear contigo, siempre con una buena intensión, crea un vínculo especial y sabrás que pondrá su mejor actitud antes los inevitables tropezones de la vida. Pero no olvides que él se debe de reír contigo y no de ti.

Que tenga integridad

Un buen hombre siempre mantiene su palabra. Su "sí" significa "sí" y su "no" es "no". Un chico con integridad protege su reputación y si dice que hará algo, lo cumplirá. ¿El examen más sencillo de integridad? ¿Te llamo cuando dijo que lo haría? Poner atención a lo que él dice es muy importante, pero lo que hace es en realidad lo doble de valioso.

Que sea respetuoso

Un hombre que te respete hará su mejor esfuerzo para ser un caballero cerca de ti. Cuidará sus modales y no te empujará a hacer nada con lo que te sientas incómoda. Las personas nos tratan de la manera en que nosotras esperamos ser tratadas. Si nos respetamos y valoramos, nuestro chico lo hará también.

Que esté dispuesto a dar

Cuando un hombres está loco por una mujer, hará todo lo que este a su alcance para hacerla feliz. Un buen chico quiere darte su tiempo, su energía, y sí, hasta su dinero, simplemente porque disfruta de verte feliz y tu compañía es algo muy preciado para él.

Que sea fuerte

Definitivamente la fuerza física puede ser sexy, pero es mucho más importante que sea fuerte en su interior. Los hombres fuertes tienen el control de sus vidas. No permiten que otros los manejen y definen muy bien sus límites. No están dispuestos a comprometer sus ideales ni sus ideas por nada.

Que sea leal

La lealtad tiene que ver más allá de que no te engañe. Un hombre leal es sincero y honesto con todas las personas de su vida. Si se comporta de manera sospechosa con otras personas, puedes jurar que te tratará de la misma manera.

Que te anime

Un buen hombre quiere una buena mujer a su lado. Él espera que su chica crea en él, porque él cree en ella. Un buen chico te apoyará en tu trabajo, amistades, sueños, y todo lo que sea importante para ti. Si un hombre trata de aplastarte o minimizarte, definitivamente no esta dispuesto a alentarte.

Que sea exitoso

No es tan importante cuánto dinero gane, sino cómo se encuentra respecto a su trayecto laboral. Un hombre que no trabaja, siempre está "entre empleos", o se tiene un terrible récord respecto a lo laboral. Un verdadero hombre desea trabajar por la satisfacción de crecer en esa área.

Que tenga control de sí mismo

No puedes tener una relación madura con un hombre que no lo es. Cuando a un chico le falta autocontrol no es más que un niño en el cuerpo de un adulto. Los hombres viven responsablemente y piensan en el fututo. Los chicos que se la viven de fiesta, pueden ser divertidos un rato, pero no dura para siempre.

Por José Aguilera